My First Story

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Chapter One Published

Post by Philo B. on Wed Feb 15, 2017 1:57 am

Well, the story has been published at Literotica, and I've already got my first hater!  Someone rated it one-star about a half-hour after it went live.  No comment was left, but I look forward to hearing from some seriously triggered people.  That's part of the fun.  Anyway, here's the link:

https://www.literotica.com/s/anyone-but-mom-ch-01

In all seriousness, please let me know what you think, guys.  If you'd like to see further episodes of "Anyone But Mom!" just let me know.  If not, cool.  I can at least say I gave it a shot.  This writing thing sure ain't a piece of cake.  Thanks for reading.
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Re: My First Story

Post by john01824 on Wed Feb 15, 2017 12:22 pm

Philo B. wrote:Well, the story has been published at Literotica, and I've already got my first hater!  Someone rated it one-star about a half-hour after it went live.  No comment was left, but I look forward to hearing from some seriously triggered people.  That's part of the fun.  Anyway, here's the link:

https://www.literotica.com/s/anyone-but-mom-ch-01

In all seriousness, please let me know what you think, guys.  If you'd like to see further episodes of "Anyone But Mom!" just let me know.  If not, cool.  I can at least say I gave it a shot.  This writing thing sure ain't a piece of cake.  Thanks for reading.

I saw it and enjoyed the intro and I'm looking forward to the upcoming chapters. Have you already written future chapters or are you in the process?

BTW left you 5 stars on Lit and a comment. Thanks for the time and effort. Please continue the series.

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Re: My First Story

Post by Betrayal on Wed Feb 15, 2017 2:27 pm

I very much enjoyed the intro and also rated it 5 stars on the other site. I especially enjoyed how you established a clear looks differential between the bully and the son, definitely a redpill that will no doubt piss off insecure delusional readers even more. It's much more realistic to have the alpha be much better looking than the son since women can say anything they want but can't hide their true attraction to physically superior males. It's one thing I don't like about hentai ntr when a female cucks her normal looking lover/son with some fat ugly guy, completely ruins the fantasy.

But yeah as I said haters gonna hate, it just comes with the territory. Expect not just one stars but also shitty comments from shitty people.

Is there a female you specifically based the mom off of? Maybe a porn star or a model? Perhaps even your own mom? It's helps to visualize while reading.
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Re: My First Story

Post by mathew elizabeth on Thu Feb 16, 2017 12:01 am

Really great job. Loved reading the rest on Literotica. Love how the sons fetish is already apparent and the mother is somewhat aware of her sons perversions. Excellent!

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Re: My First Story

Post by Philo B. on Thu Feb 16, 2017 2:02 am

Many thanks for the feedback, guys, and especially for your support through the high ratings.  In spite of the haters, I've been very encouraged by the reception.  For a few hours, the story even had that coveted "H" symbol by the title.  I knew it wouldn't last, so I wasn't disappointed when it disappeared.  

Let me answer your questions, john01824 and Betrayal.  First, I'm much obliged to you both for the 5-star ratings.  I'm in the process of writing the next chapter, which will be much longer than Chapter 1.  It should be ready to publish within two weeks. This next edition is going to have some heavy duty triggers in it, so I expect to be on the receiving end of some strident hostility.  Still, at least I'm getting a reaction.  

By the way, I agree with Betrayal that most haters will be guys who have not swallowed the "red pill" of reality where sexual relationships with women are concerned.  They've been lied to by their moms and by Hollywood, which keeps cranking out cheesy romantic comedies in which guys like Alfie get the girl in the end.  The only exception I can think of is "The Last American Virgin" from 1982.  In the final scene, it delivers a savage kick in the nuts to the both the beta and to the audience. Many people, including girls, were very upset by it.  I was too young to date back in '82, but it was a much needed wake-up call for me.

Regarding my inspiration for Bronwyn, she is not a specific person, but an amalgam of women who have figured prominently in my life.  My mom did have red hair, and she was attractive and intelligent.  On a subconscious level, I'm sure that she makes up more of the Bronwyn character than I'm aware.  As for the other women, they are the girls that were either friends or love interests.  Most of the latter were redheads, which makes me think that an Oedipus complex was indeed at work.  

Having said that, if I had to visualize Bronwyn, I would think of a slimmer version of Christina Hendricks.  Also, before I started writing, I did come across a photo of a stunning redhead with the very girl-next-door looks described in the story.  The problem was that she's only 22 years old.  Her name is Kacy Anne Hill.  I've attached a photo of her in which she looks the most adult.  Just try to add about a decade and a half of graceful aging to her face.

Thank you very much for weighing in, Mathew.  At first, I wasn't sure if making Bronwyn aware of her son's crush from the beginning was a good idea.  Then, I pictured the Alfie character and how harmless and fragile he would appear to other people, none of whom would take him seriously as an equal.  From such an inoffensive person, though he is Bronwyn's son, I didn't see her feeling threatened or alarmed by the awareness of his crush; just a bit turned off.

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Re: My First Story

Post by Betrayal on Sat Feb 18, 2017 8:01 pm

After reading the story fully for a fourth time, I gotta say it just keeps better with age. I don't know if you've mentioned it, but are you willing to listen to ideas from us or is this creation set in stone as you would have it? Please let me know and I'd love to shoot a few scenarios your way either through pm or in this thread.
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Re: My First Story

Post by Philo B. on Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:15 am

Betrayal wrote:After reading the story fully for a fourth time, I gotta say it just keeps better with age. I don't know if you've mentioned it, but are you willing to listen to ideas from us or is this creation set in stone as you would have it? Please let me know and I'd love to shoot a few scenarios your way either through pm or in this thread.

Thanks, bro.  I'm really glad people are enjoying the story.  To answer your question, I'm more than happy for anyone to pass on their ideas regarding plot devices or character identity.  If I use someone's suggestion in a later chapter, I will give them credit in the introduction, with their permission.  So, by all means, fire away!
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Re: My First Story

Post by Philo B. on Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:19 am

Betrayal wrote:After reading the story fully for a fourth time, I gotta say it just keeps better with age. I don't know if you've mentioned it, but are you willing to listen to ideas from us or is this creation set in stone as you would have it? Please let me know and I'd love to shoot a few scenarios your way either through pm or in this thread.

Betrayal, if you would indulge my curiosity, I was wondering if the stunning woman in your profile picture is your mom.  If so, I can appreciate how difficult it must have been growing up with such a gorgeous woman.  She must have gotten tons of male attention, both wanted and unwanted, each and every day.
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Re: My First Story

Post by Betrayal on Sun Feb 19, 2017 2:16 pm

Philo B. wrote:
Betrayal wrote:After reading the story fully for a fourth time, I gotta say it just keeps better with age. I don't know if you've mentioned it, but are you willing to listen to ideas from us or is this creation set in stone as you would have it? Please let me know and I'd love to shoot a few scenarios your way either through pm or in this thread.

Betrayal, if you would indulge my curiosity, I was wondering if the stunning woman in your profile picture is your mom.  If so, I can appreciate how difficult it must have been growing up with such a gorgeous woman.  She must have gotten tons of male attention, both wanted and unwanted, each and every day.

tongue lmao that's not my mom, just a random googles internet girl I got off another forum. Don't know if she's even a mom or not, I just like the way she looks. Twisted Evil I wouldn't post my mom's pic on here, not because I don't trust you guys or want you to see her but simply because it'd be something I'd be doing behind her back. Also notice there's ALOT of lurkers on this forum who don't/won't even take the time to register, and I don't necessarily trust those types. But yeah I change my avatar often to pics of women who fit my preference and also go along with this genre; generally white or latina women with voluptuous bodies and faces that look like they'd cuck their sons with their worst enemy in the blink of an eye.  Twisted Evil

Alright now onto some ideas. Keep in mind I'm no writer but I do love reading, especially stories that tug at the heartstrings, as yours already has. Now I don't know just how cruel and evil you're planning on making the mom nor do I want you to spoil it just yet, but these ideas will be operating on the fact that the mom knows of her son's crush on her and wants to rub it in his face constantly.

1. Alfie walks in on Bronwyn working out in a very revealing outfit, just completely showing off her tits and ass. All while watching an instructional video featuring very tall, muscular alpha males ( resembling Hendrick), which causes Alfie to become even more insecure and paranoid.

2. Bronwyn confronts Alfie on his sick nightly masturbation sessions, but instead of telling him to stop she buys him a porn magazine that ironically has a cover showing a very busty milf resembling her getting felt up by an alpha male resembling Hendrick. This only makes things worse for Alfie as he now has a visual basis confirming his fears before anything actually happens between Bronwyn and Hendrick.

3. This is quite an ambitious idea, perhaps even nonsensical but it's one that is strongly influenced by Mommy's love denied.
Alfie has a dream in which he's walking on a very soft, fleshy surface in a fantasy setting. For the most part everything is normal except that the ground seems to be made of skin and fat. This surface, which Alfie as a nerd considers to be a different planet, is actually his mom's asscheeks. Eventually he is terrified to see Hendrick as a naked fearsome giant show up and begin slapping the ground violently. It causes the ground to flop and bounce like a twerking stripper's ass and comes accompanied by a woman's moans, by which Alfie immediately recognizes as his moms. Soon Hendrick the giant begins to stick his huge erect penis into the surface and pound away viciously, all the while Bronwyn can be heard screaming in pleasure. The ground begins to crack like an earthquake and once the giant reaches orgasm he completely destroys the "planet" ending Alfie's nightmare and causing him to completely shake and shiver with dread upon waking up.

These are just some scenarios you maybe toy with and draw from in the writing process. Hopefully others will offer some insight as well. Either way I can't wait for part 2!
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Re: My First Story

Post by Philo B. on Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:34 pm

Ha, thanks for clearing that up about your mom, Betrayal.  I suppose it was a stupid question on my part, but I'm pretty sure wishful thinking was the driver.  That woman really blew me away, and you're right, she does look like she has an evil streak.  I'd say she'd own most men that she meets in about 2 seconds.

I really like your suggestions, especially the one about the dream.  It always makes a story more engaging when you're able to add an additional dimension, whether it be flashbacks or dream sequences.  First, I need to check "Mommy's Love Denied" to be certain that I don't inadvertently lift anything from that classic.  No doubt that memories of subplot elements from that story still float around in my head.  I wouldn't want them to slip through my mental filter.  

If I do decide to go with the dream, I will definitely use your idea as a base from which I will try to develop similar but original content.  In that case, I will acknowledge you in the introduction to the chapter in which it appears.  (I may be able to fit it in Chapter 2, which is about 50% finished).  Of course, if you'd prefer that I not recognize you, just let me know.

Feel free to keep those ideas coming!  That includes everyone at this site.  I really do appreciate your interest and enthusiasm for the story.
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Re: My First Story

Post by Philo B. on Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:37 pm

Betrayal wrote:3. This is quite an ambitious idea, perhaps even nonsensical but it's one that is strongly influenced by Mommy's love denied.  Alfie has a dream in which he's walking on a very soft, fleshy surface in a fantasy setting. For the most part everything is normal except that the ground seems to be made of skin and fat. This surface, which Alfie as a nerd considers to be a different planet, is actually his mom's asscheeks.

I was wondering, Betrayal, would you mind if I used your dream idea in the story exactly as you presented it?  I'm having trouble thinking of a scenario that's just as good.  I will give you a prominent mention in the introduction if you give me the go-ahead.  Sorry to rush, but could you let me know at your earliest convenience whether or not you give your consent? P.S. I love the new lady in your profile pic!
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Re: My First Story

Post by Betrayal on Mon Feb 20, 2017 8:40 pm

Philo B. wrote:
Betrayal wrote:3. This is quite an ambitious idea, perhaps even nonsensical but it's one that is strongly influenced by Mommy's love denied.  Alfie has a dream in which he's walking on a very soft, fleshy surface in a fantasy setting. For the most part everything is normal except that the ground seems to be made of skin and fat. This surface, which Alfie as a nerd considers to be a different planet, is actually his mom's asscheeks.

I was wondering, Betrayal, would you mind if I used your dream idea in the story exactly as you presented it?  I'm having trouble thinking of a scenario that's just as good.  I will give you a prominent mention in the introduction if you give me the go-ahead.  Sorry to rush, but could you let me know at your earliest convenience whether or not you give your consent?  P.S.  I love the new lady in your profile pic!
No problem. I never would have given you suggestions in the first place if I didn't want you to use them. I look forward to helping out even more once I get more of a feeling where the story's headed in future chapters.

BTW avatar is Lindsey Pelas, not a mom as far as I know, just great masturbation fodder.
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Re: My First Story

Post by Philo B. on Mon Feb 20, 2017 11:32 pm

Betrayal wrote: No problem. I never would have given you suggestions in the first place if I didn't want you to use them. I look forward to helping out even more once I get more of a feeling where the story's headed in future chapters.

BTW avatar is Lindsey Pelas, not a mom as far as I know, just great masturbation fodder.

Thanks, man.  I think the dream sequence will work very well.  I'm pretty sure that I can include it with Chapter 2, which I plan to submit to Literotica by March 1 at the latest.  At that time, I will also post the first few sections of the second chapter at this site.  

Lindsey Pelas is smoking hot.  Give her about 5 years, and she'll be a perfect model for a mom betraying her son.  There are two others, one of whom is arguably the most beautiful woman on Earth.  She's from Colombia, and her name is Lina Posada (blonde):  

Another Colombian hottie with an ass to die for is Mariana Davalos (brunette).  
She has a twin sister, Camilla, who is also gorgeous, but I'd say Mariana has her beat by a point.
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Re: My First Story

Post by Philo B. on Fri Mar 03, 2017 12:15 am

Hello Gents,

Just wanted to give you an update on Part 2 of "Anyone But Mom!" Long story short - I live in NC where we had a bad electrical storm on Wednesday. At the time, I was nearly finished with editing when the power went out, and all the edits were lost. The story remains intact, but I have to go through the laborious editing process again. I'm afraid this will delay my submission to Literotica by 2 or 3 days. I have a long haul today, but I'm free to knock everything out over the weekend. Sorry for the delay!
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Re: My First Story

Post by Zohan on Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:40 pm

Looking forward to the next chapter Philo. The first chapter was so well researched and the writing style is quite different from the others in this genre.

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Re: My First Story

Post by john01824 on Tue Mar 07, 2017 8:49 pm

Philo B. wrote:Hello Gents,

Just wanted to give you an update on Part 2 of "Anyone But Mom!"  Long story short - I live in NC where we had a bad electrical storm on Wednesday.  At the time, I was nearly finished with editing when the power went out, and all the edits were lost.  The story remains intact, but I have to go through the laborious editing process again.  I'm afraid this will delay my submission to Literotica by 2 or 3 days.  I have a long haul today, but I'm free to knock everything out over the weekend.  Sorry for the delay!


Looking forward to it and hope you post it in its entirety here..... cheers

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"Anyone But Mom! - Ch. 2" - First part posted

Post by Philo B. on Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:21 pm

Guys...

Once again, please accept my apologies for the delay.  I won't give you a litany of excuses, but I've been in the cab of my rig pretty much non-stop since last Friday.  As they say, life is what happens when you're making other plans.  

One note to Betrayal - I didn't include your dream sequence in this installment, but it will be in the next one.  On this occasion, the timing didn't seem to be right for it, and I didn't want to make people wait any longer for Chapter 2.

I'll post the first part of "Anyone But Mom! - Ch. 2" here.  Rest assured, when the full story goes live, you'll be able to read the sexual train wreck that closes this part of the story.  I'd prefer not to post the entire story here due to copyright issues.  Since non-members can see the contents of this forum, I don't want all of my work out there until it first appears in a copyright protected medium.  

Off we go...

“A conqueror must never crush, he must corrupt.”

WARNING:  This story is based in the netorare (NTR) genre of erotic fiction.  Scenes of degradation and humiliation are graphic and uncensored.  There is no actual incest in the story, but the intent is there from one of the characters.  If you are not comfortable with this sort of content, kindly redirect your reading searches elsewhere.  

I do apologize to everyone for your long wait for this installment.  No long excuses – but my advice to everyone out there is to frequently back-up your computer work in the event of a sudden weather event.  Editing is an arduous process, and re-editing what you’ve already edited doesn’t go as fast as you may think.  My thanks to online editor, Turd Ferguson (‘it’s a funny name’) for helping me get it all done.  Rest assured I will be more careful in future, allowing me to post on a more regular basis.  

In this part of the saga, there is still some build-up to go through, but the final scene is as debauched as it is depraved.  I hope you enjoy...

Chapter 5
It was a busy morning at the office, so Bronwyn had no difficulties in remaining focused on her work.  She was to meet the new intern at 9 a.m., and that hour was fast approaching.  The last thing she wanted was to appear overly eager.  Men took advantage of women in that state, and she had no intention of being cowed by a man seventeen years her junior.

Her state of indifference was becoming more and more difficult to maintain, however.  When Bronwyn first arrived at the firm that morning, Linda Carmichael had shown her a particularly flattering photo of Hendrick that was taken at the office yesterday.  He had each of his arms around two attractive ladies who stood on either side of him.  A willowy blonde and a curvy brunette, they happened to be receptionists and the wet dreams of every guy in the office.  In any other case, being touched by one of their colleagues would immediately result in a visit to Human Resources to file a sexual harassment claim.  But it was clear from their faces that the two hotties only wanted to drag the young stud to the nearest hotel room with a prominent “Do not disturb” sign.  Hendrick beamed his thousand-watt smile at the camera.  He wore a multi-thousand dollar suit, and his thick, wavy dark hair was styled to perfection.  Bronwyn couldn’t stop herself from getting wet at seeing such a striking man.  

As she looked down at her desk and scribbled away on a document, she heard three authoritative raps on her office door.  Through sheer will power, she raised her head slowly, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible.  When she laid eyes on Hendrick in the flesh, she inhaled a short breath of air, hoping he didn’t notice.  She barely acknowledged her boss, Elwin Masters, who had accompanied this gorgeous hunk of masculinity.  Bronwyn stood and walked out from behind her desk to greet them both.  She felt her pussy tingle as she walked across the carpet.  Hendrick smiled bemusedly at her, as if he had X-ray vision and could see the love butter leaking from her snatch.  

“Bronwyn Amherst, this is our bright new prospect, Hendrick Colburn,” said Mr. Masters with an outstretched hand.  “You two will be spending a lot of time together over the next few months.”  

Bronwyn flashed her new apprentice a toothy smile and offered her hand in salutation.  Hendrick took it in both his large hands and gave her a friendly shake.  He returned Bronwyn’s warm, welcoming smile.  Yow-wee, he’s a hunk, and he smells wonderful.

“A pleasure to meet you, Ms. Amherst.  I’ve heard a lot about you,” said Hendrick, who maintained eye contact throughout the introduction.

“Same, same here, Mr. Colburn.  I look forward to working for you.”  Bronwyn replied.  Hendrick and Mr. Masters glanced at each other.  Bronwyn cringed inside as she realized her error.

“I, I mean with you,” she hastily added.  

Hendrick grinned with feigned bashfulness, but his ego was doing a vigorous fist pump.  I just met the bitch, and she’s already falling for me.  Look at that incredible body.  I’m going to enjoy defiling it.

After Masters left, mentor and intern spent a full half-hour in Bronwyn’s office getting acquainted.  Some attention was given to practical topics, such as the nature of the work he’d be doing.  But most of the time was spent with Bronwyn’s chin resting on her upturned palm as she listened to the fascinating anecdotes and clever humor of the precocious stud before her.  Hendrick was obviously intelligent and articulate.  He had a knack for expressing himself in language that was clear but eloquent at the same time.  Judicious use of sarcasm to emphasize but not overstate his points delighted her.  Her panties were soaking wet as Hendrick excused himself for a restroom break.  

As she stood, she could feel her juices running down her leg.  God, I wish I’d worn panty hose after all!  Bronwyn re-seated herself and got a tissue out of her purse.  She craned her neck to look out the door and then surreptitiously blotted the wetness away from between her legs.  Bronwyn threw the sodden tissue in her wastebasket just as Hendrick was coming back from his aborted trip to the men’s room.  He knew what he did to women, so he wasn’t surprised to see Ms. Amherst disposing of the evidence of her arousal.  Hendrick cocked his head and gave her an expression of playful rebuke.  She blushed visibly and stood up from her desk.  It was time for a tour of the offices and the legal library where much research was to be done on their upcoming case.  Legal precedents – it was all about legal precedents with Bronwyn, carefully chosen and flawlessly unpacked.  She would teach her young charge that half the battle in winning a case involved poring through thick law books and their vast wealth of information.  

“So, yeah, Hendrick” she said to him back at her office.  “My primary work now involves a case of eminent domain.  It will mean some courtroom time, and I’d like you to be there as my co-counsel.”  He had told her moments after they first met to dispense with the “Mr. Colburn” nonsense.  The person with that title was his father.  

“Well, you must have a lot of confidence in me, throwing me in the deep section of the swimming pool so soon.  I’m honored, Ms. Amherst” he gracefully observed.

Bronwyn smiled at him for perhaps the thousandth time and nodded her head.  “We’ll spend lots of time together on preparation.  I’m sure you’ll do fine.”  
She considered her next statement but went against her better judgment when she said, “And please call me Bronwyn.  I don’t want things to be stiff and formal between us.  That will ruin the kind of relaxed back-and-forth communication we’ll need to cover everything.”

“Certainly…Bronwyn,” he replied, putting emphasis on her name.  “Stiff has its place, but it’s not here,” he added with no change in expression.  

The innuendo struck at the core of her boiling sexuality.  She suddenly had a vivid image of Hendrick fucking her from behind as she was bent over her desk, wearing nothing but her heels, garter, and thigh-highs.  In this image, her hands were splayed open on the mahogany top as he slammed into her with his rigid horse cock.  Bronwyn could see her own face, a contorted mask of ecstasy, and she could hear the inhuman screams and moans that his shlong was power-fucking out of her.  

Bronwyn shivered as if cold and shook her head to clear the sexual cobwebs.  Like this beautiful man said, stiff has its place, but it’s not here.  So, where the fuck is it?  I want to be there and get drilled like a Libyan oilfield by this swarthy stud.  
On an impulse, Bronwyn reached out and rubbed the material of Hendrick’s suited sleeve between her fingers.  “Such elegant material,” she sighed.  “You will make a great impression on the judge.  I know him, and he’s a stickler for professional attire in his courtroom.”

In his mind, Hendrick was celebrating like the Patriots after Super Bowl 51.  This is going much faster than even I expected.  This chick must be starving for cock!

“Yes, as my mother used to say, clothes make the man,” he replied as she continued to rub his sleeve in a near hypnotic state.  Hendrick’s understated but virile cologne filled her nostrils along with his freshly showered man aroma.  Her pussy was screaming at her for some attention.

“Your outfit is very nice as well,” he commented, smoothing his hand over the sky-blue fabric covering Bronwyn’s forearm.  

She beamed at the compliment.  “Thank you!  I think personal presentation says a lot about a person, both in business and private life.”

“Indeed,” Hendrick agreed.  “So, you see the problem with that outfit, then?”  It was more a statement than a question.  Bronwyn’s face fell and she looked down at herself, as if trying to locate an elusive ink spot.

“Umm, I don’t follow,” she replied, beseeching her young charge with doe eyes.

“Well, blue is a great color, but navy is the proper shade to show trust, reliability, and authority.  Sky-blue in business communicates deception, unreliability, and aloofness.  All these qualities are poison for a lawyer, wouldn’t you agree?”  Hendrick knew he had scored big.  From his thorough examination of all Bronwyn’s social media, he know how much of a clotheshorse she was.

Bronwyn was speechless.  She was trying to process what she just heard.  A big part of her mind felt outrage at being pasted with such unflattering labels.  She came extremely close to giving this young whippersnapper a piece of her mind.  But the way Hendrick was looking at her – helpful and questioning…

“I don’t know that I agree,” Bronwyn said sternly, dispensing her anger in a bite-sized dose.

“That’s your prerogative, but what I said is a demonstrable fact.  Do you know anything about the psychology of color?”  Bronwyn shook her head.  

“It’s a fascinating field of study.  Haven’t you ever wondered why police officers all over the world wear dark blue uniforms?”  

She shook her head again, becoming increasingly annoyed at being shown up by this young man.  

“Well, dark blue tells people, ‘Cool down.  I’m here, I’m capable, and I’m in charge.’  The human response to this color is universal.”

Bamboozled by his logic, Bronwyn pulled her arms back and hugged herself.  It was a glaring sign of doubt and insecurity.  Hendrick smiled inwardly.  Now, it’s time to jerk her the other way.

“Of course, you’re a very attractive and intelligent woman,” he added.  “Changing your wardrobe is a relatively simple thing.”

Her embarrassment and despair were pushed out of her by this well-selected compliment.  Then again, she didn’t relish the idea of buying a new suit to replace this one, which she loved.  It would not be cheap.  A puzzled Bronwyn smiled at Hendrick and redirected his attention to their case.

They exchanged ideas and quoted legal precedents for nearly an hour.  Bronwyn was impressed by Hendrick’s excellent memory and ability to coordinate facts into a solid argument.  He struck her as a natural born litigator.  His crafty ‘negging’ of her attire was quickly forgotten.  If anything, it just made her want to impress him.  To that end, she put her pen down and looked at her watch.  It indicated that lunch time was at hand.  I’ll take him to Jean-Pierre’s Kitchen.  It’s one of the best restaurants in Cincinnati.  He’ll see that I have taste.

“So, Hendrick.  If you’re free for lunch, I’d like to treat you to one of our city’s best dining experiences.”

His eyebrows went up in anticipation of further details.  He didn’t speak, which unnerved his mentor.

“Jean-Pierre’s Kitchen!” she announced with pride.  “Have you ever been there?”

Looking unimpressed, Hendrick replied, “It’s an excellent place, but I’ve dined at better establishments in Paris and New York.”

“Well,” an irritated Bronwyn responded, “in our ‘one-horse’ town, it’s practically an institution.  Anyway, it’s my treat, so you won’t be losing anything.”  

Hendrick stood to his full 6’3” height.  Bowing his head as he buttoned his suit jacket, he said, “I graciously accept, Bronwyn.  That’s very thoughtful.”  She smiled gratefully at him as she rose from her desk.  The two of them walked out the door and headed to the restaurant.  

Chapter 6
Bronwyn had broken her own rules and ordered wine with lunch.  She was on her second glass.  Ordinarily, she never consumed alcohol during business hours, preferring to keep her mind as sharp as a tack.  But this mysterious young man had thrown her off her game, and she needed something to steady herself.  He’s a perfect gentleman, and his manners are impeccable.  I just can’t work out what he really thinks of me.  

Hendrick continued to engage Bronwyn in his dance of manipulation.  Even when they were discussing the case, he maintained his game of one-upmanship.  He would raise her up with a tastefully expressed compliment and then bring her down with a veiled criticism.  

“Yes, I agree that the case of Kelo v. City of New London is the strongest precedent we can cite,” he said with conviction.  “However, in dealing with our case of eminent domain, I feel that the compelling point for the seizure of private property is ‘reasonably foreseeable needs’ rather than ‘reasonably necessary.’  After all, Columbus is experiencing much needed economic growth right now.  They made the Intelligent Community Forum’s list just three years ago.”  

Bronwyn just looked at him and blinked her eyes.  This guy had been putting her on the back foot since they met this morning.  Her irritation was still there, but it was giving way to arousal and desire.  She was so used to men being pleasant and cooperative with her.  She never had difficulty in getting her way with the male of the species…until now.  Hendrick had gone from an irritant to a challenge, and challenges to Bronwyn were things to be overcome, not avoided.  

Just then, the waiter stopped by their table and asked Bronwyn if she wanted another glass of wine.  Before she could speak, Hendrick told him, “No, the lady is fine, but bring me another scotch and soda.”

Again, the much older Ms. Amherst was dumbstruck at the young man’s insolence.  She could contain herself no longer, “Why did you do that, Hendrick?  That was my decision.”

He looked at her sheepishly and said, “I was just trying to save you embarrassment.”

“What embarrassment?” she demanded.

“Well, you’re a woman.”

She gave him a ‘No shit, Sherlock!’ expression.  He continued, “They’re at a disadvantage in social and professional situations where drinking is involved.  They can’t hold their liquor like men.”

Bronwyn hands curled into fists on the table.  Her confusion was off the dial.  This was the first time she’d ever been horny and angry at the same time.  “How can you say that?  Because men are bigger?  Well, that’s not always a factor in how strong a drinker someone is.”  She was filled with confidence as she remembered the occasions back in college when she would drink men under the table.  She’d join them there shortly thereafter, cross-eyed and clueless, but at least she could claim the victory.  

Hendrick held up his open palms and shrugged.  “This is not my opinion. It’s a demonstrable fact.  Women have less of a certain enzyme, ADH, that breaks down alcohol before it leaves the stomach for the bloodstream.”

Another ‘demonstrable’ fact.  What is this guy, a walking encyclopedia?  “I’ll tell you what, big shot.  We have a lot of ground to cover before the week is out, meaning we’ll have to take some working meal times.  You can thank me for this lunch by taking me out for drinks Friday night.  You’ll see that I can drink and remain sharp as a tack.  Are you game?”

Hendrick smiled wider than he should have.  His prey had fallen into his first major trap.  “Always,” he replied ominously.  “What’s life without a little friendly competition?”
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Re: My First Story

Post by Philo B. on Fri Mar 10, 2017 2:09 am

Part 2 is now live at Literotica -
https://www.literotica.com/s/anyone-but-mom-ch-02
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Re: My First Story

Post by forever316 on Fri Mar 10, 2017 1:59 pm

Damn, Part 2 was amazing. I can't wait for part 3

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Re: My First Story

Post by Betrayal on Sat Mar 11, 2017 2:16 pm

Great chapter Philo. Well you did get into the sex a bit earlier than I thought you would but the outright humiliation that accompanied it was perfectly executed. Really looking forward to seeing how you implement my idea in the next part. Since Alfie has already witnessed them having sex I guess the dream sequence will be much more vivid than if it had just been born of his paranoia and imagination. Unlike MLD you really sped up the betrayal in this story, which is fine as I'm guessing this one's not going to be nearly as long a tale. Like Scott, Alfie seems to be one to crack under pressure so I look to forward to seeing his no doubt depressing journey as much as I do the mom/bully sex.

Also noticed that Lit stuck both chapters in the incest section. The only thing about that is that readers expecting mom/son are going to be upset and no doubt aggressive in showing their disappointment in the comments.
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Re: My First Story

Post by Philo B. on Sat Mar 11, 2017 3:00 pm

Thanks for weighing in guys.  I do appreciate the support.  Despite the lower aggregate rating for Ch. 2, it's proving to be more popular than Ch. 1.  Perhaps the haters make themselves feel better after getting off by voting the story down after the soggy Kleenex has been tossed into the wastebasket.  

I did introduce the sex sooner than expected, but this was based upon some guidelines I read by more experienced and successful authors.  They warned that people would lose interest if I made them wait too long for the good stuff.  Also, like MLD, I have pre-programmed a soft reset into the narrative, allowing me to draw it out longer if I choose to.  This may qualify as a spoiler alert, but Bronwyn is going to remember very little of what happened when she sobers up.  She will recall none of her insults towards Alfie.  

About Part 3, I have started it with Betrayal's excellent dream sequence in mind.  Alfie is going to find himself in much the same state of mind as the haters out there.  Part of him wants to surrender and wallow in his own psychological filth, but an equal part wants him to save the day and finally achieve that elusive alpha status.  That tug-of-war in Alfie's own mind is going to have catastrophic consequences on his mental health and the overall direction of his life.  I do see the parallel to Scott in MLD, and that story is one of my guiding lights in plot development.  However, my goal is not to crank something out that is too derivative of MLD.  If I seem to be failing in that endeavor, please let me know.  

About the categorization of Chapter 2, I did designate it as 'Fetish,' but for some reason, Literotica put it in 'Taboo/Incest.'  I saw the same problem as you, Betrayal, and requested yesterday that it be moved to 'Fetish,' as I originally intended.  I also did some further editing to remove spelling and grammar errors that Turd Ferguson and I missed.  The syntax was also cleaned up a bit.  I am aware that my sentences can often be too wordy, making them less readable.  It's a tendency I'm working to overcome.
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Re: My First Story

Post by dddDamn on Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:38 am

Wow, man. I just made an account here to say thanks for writing this story. Since this is shaping up to be one of the seminal works of this fetish, I would definitely be remiss if I didn't at least try to contribute.

So firstly, Chapter 2 was pretty much perfect. This story puts a pit in someone's stomach the same way a good horror movie does. The escalation is carefully designed and every line/action is conceived in such a way to increase that feeling of exciting dread. The pacing is great and the amount of detail is engrossing without being boring (and sometimes absolutely deadly). So basically keep doing what you're doing.

Onto the criticisms: I'm not a fan of MLD, and the whole femdom incest angle with the sissy son does nothing for me. In a perfect world, this would be a spiritual successor to Bully Gets Wimp's Mother. However, it would seem that the story follows more closely to MLD, so I just wanted to suggest some things that I would love that you continue to include, whatever turn the story should take.

- The subtle cruelty: Bronwyn's inner dialogue is one of my favorite things about this story.
- The overt cruelty: "I bet the lil' geek didn' even get to firsht base." omg that's so fucking hot
- The degradation: Hendrick is on fire with the misogyny.
- The masochism: It was hot to see Bronwyn eventually confess her love for the verbal abuse.
- The not fucking your son: The alternative would kill my boner

I'll for sure jump in and give feedback as long as you continue writing, and thanks for being open to suggestions in the first place, it's kind of been a dry spell for this fetish the last few months imo.

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Re: My First Story

Post by mathew elizabeth on Mon Mar 13, 2017 4:49 pm

Yes, this is excellent indeed Philo B. Funnily enough; I find very little similarity between Your story 'Anyone But Mom' and my story 'Mommy's Love Denied'.

Your story has instant culture and many names of characters who are business associates. But my story started off extremely simple with very minimal characters and mainly focusing on the protagonist Scott for the first five chapters.

You seem to have a much more acute and detailed understanding of the world you are creating. I was both surprised and happy that we get to see Bronwyn have sex in chapter 2. A simple sex scene doesn't ruin any build up. Strangely enough; when I originally thought It was overkill; I seemed to want to know more afterwards. This shows that things in your story are just beginning and the purpose of the story; like any netorare should be; the break down of the protagonist as he bares witness to this cruel situation. Not the chase of the alpha-male; which would be 'Netori' not 'Netorare. You understand this perfectly and I can see the plot is bound to get more intense.

The one constructive criticism I'm happy to give is that I find 'Hendrick' kind of underdeveloped so far. He comes across as a master manipulator with cunning intelligence but I fail to relate to him or even feel intimidated. Maybe you already had plans to create further insight for him and give clues of his history and past; that gave him such a sophisticatedly 'arrogant' and 'Yuppy like' personality.

So far; so damn good; well done!

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Re: My First Story

Post by DanNirmal on Tue Mar 14, 2017 3:05 am

Damn, I am SO glad I waited to read both chapters together. The potential for story progression is amazing. When this series is done, it'll take it's place among the best works of the genre if you can maintain this quality! This really lived up to the hype for me, since I was looking forward to reading it for quite some time.

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Re: My First Story

Post by Philo B. on Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:07 am

Thanks so much, guys.  I appreciate the time and effort you went to in giving me such helpful, detailed feedback.  I have a general outline of how I want the story to go, but it really fleshes itself out as I'm writing.  Sometimes I just make my best guess as to whether or not a scene is worth including; for instance, my rather detailed description of Bronwyn's outfit for her working date with Hendrick.  That bores some people to death, but I think it's important for the reader to visualize the main characters, especially in a 'before-and-after' contrast as we saw with Bronwyn.  Her condition and appearance changed dramatically after Hendrick was done with her, and I wanted the reader to feel the full impact of that fall from grace.

This is a response to a point raised by dddDamn.  I have no intention of sissifying Alfie in the sense of putting him in a dress or some shit like that.  He will retain his effeminate, omega male attributes, but there will be no gender bending.    This story is about his emotional destruction in the face of his mother's gradual metamorphosis.  Things are going to get to pretty bad for him, and you can expect me to retain all of the story elements that you listed. I'm sure that many readers at Literotica will be screaming for my head, but that's half the fun. In a way, it's liberating not to have to worry about ratings.

Thanks, Mathew, for your input about Hendrick.  I must admit that he's tough to write for.  I've known a sociopath or two during my life, but to this day, I can't say what makes them tick.  I'd like to show him with greater character depth, but I don't want to have him doing or saying something that will make him appear less villainous.  I see him like Arnold Schwarzenegger's character in the first Terminator movie - a remorseless destroyer who only lives to bring other people down.  Still, if you or anyone else has any ideas of how I can flesh Hendrick out, please share by all means.  

You certainly flatter me, DanNirmal!  That's a pretty high bar you're setting, and I'll certainly do my best to clear it.  Referencing an earlier point, I do not plan to get as dark as Nebic - perhaps the most provocative NTR writer out there - but I'll get close.  I want the anguish and the tragedy to be powerful but also grounded in reality and relatable.  

For the record, I'm not a sadist who likes to tear the wings off butterflies, though I've done many things in my life I'm not proud of now.  My goal in writing these stories is to shine a light on the truth about male-female relationships and how the pain can be partially mollified through erotic fantasy.  This kind of release valve beats the hell out of repression and denial, which can lead to all kinds of nasty repercussions.  

Thank you again, guys.  Your support and input is what keeps me going.  I'm going to try to have Part 3 published before the month is out.  Now that I have an editor to assist me, I'm optimistic that I can meet that goal.
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