Brad the Bully

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Brad the Bully

Post by Bottom_all_the_way on Sat Dec 24, 2016 12:16 am

Hi everyone,

Since Literotica takes a long time to upload my stories, I've decided to post part 09 here so that can have it in time for Christmas. As always, feel free to post here with any feedback or suggestions! Hope you enjoy part 9, and the new parts moving forward!

If you're interested in the other parts, they can all be found here:

https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=3315608&page=submissions

And my tumblr (not very active, since I can't post HD pics) is here:

http://bottom-all-the-way.tumblr.com/


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Part 9 (First Half)

Post by Bottom_all_the_way on Sat Dec 24, 2016 12:17 am

(Removed)


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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by Bottom_all_the_way on Sat Dec 24, 2016 12:18 am

(Removed)


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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by forever316 on Sun Dec 25, 2016 11:05 pm

Wow, this is easily close to becoming my favorite series of this type. It is the first time I actually feel hatred to the kid being bullied. Yeah, I get off on these types of stories, but I like the cruelty aspect of it more than anything. The more cruel the better, but this is the first time I actually felt some type of hatred toward the main character and I am completely on the bullies side.

This Pussy completely abandoned and sacrifices his mother just because he is weak. He doesn't get off on it, he is just a weak pathetic person. He sends his own mother to the wolves just to not be bullied (which in truth could have been stopped so easily in the beginning). The fact that they are openly dating is amazing. It is so cruel and humiliating and he has no one to blame but himself.

My favorite 2 scenes by far in the entire series is when the milk stop is talking up brad so much and gives her his blessing to start dating and then proceeds to help her dress as sexy as possible and during the whole thing there are so many inuedos. but the mother really believes the milk stop is too stupid to understand them especially during the phone call where she tells him to cup his ears like a child while she continues her dirty talk in front of him. No boundries, I love it.

My second favorite is his mother publicly flirting kissing him and being groped by him in front of everyone so they can see that she is his girlfriend. It would be so hot if the mom starts referring to Brad as her boyfriend in front of the milk stop for example "Hey son, do you know if my boyfriend is coming over today?" " Son, my boyfriend said you are not keeping up with your studies" "I'm so lucky to have a boyfriend like Brad", "I'm going to be the best girlfriend ever" (as shes picking out extremely revealing clothing or lingerie with the help from the milk stop) etc.

I actually hope that the mother learns at least about some part of it and falls completely for Brad even knowing the truth. I hope she realizes that he was so weak he not only could not protect his own mother, but deliberately went out of his way to push her and Brad together to save his own ass knowing what kind of person brad is.

This is the first time I actually want the author to get as cruel as possible. I want the mother to not only join in, but absolutely love bullying him. I want her to physically and emotionally hurt him. To the point that both She and Brad are telling him to his face that he should kill himself. Bonus points if they are having sex in front of him and taunting/humiliating/bullying him while he actually does do it and the mom is loving it and cums because of it while its the last thing he sees.

I can't wait to see more. Looking forward to it.

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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by the machine on Mon Dec 26, 2016 11:07 am

Just read part 9. A big disappointment. Story was going very well in part 8. Slow seduction of both becky and venessa and slow humiliation of milksop was very erotic.
You took that part away.
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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by forever316 on Mon Dec 26, 2016 2:53 pm

the machine wrote:Just read part 9. A big disappointment. Story was going very well in part 8. Slow seduction of both becky and venessa and slow humiliation of milksop was very erotic.
You took that part away.

I thought it was his best chapter yet, by quite a lot.

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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by Watcher on Tue Dec 27, 2016 1:22 am

Ignore 'the machine' Bottom, you're doing great!

That said, if I may provide some criticism (just my own opinions):

1) It's my personal opinion that Brad denying his status as dating Milksop's mom was less impactful (and in one way, more harmful to the story arc) than you probably intended.

I think Brad's ownership of Milksop's mom is MAXIMIZED by an official dating status, and Brad's playing this down makes it seem like he's not interested in humiliating milksop. This is doubly so by the fact that the after-date sex is only implied, and not detailed or described extensively. Moreover, Brad and Milksop's mom never talk about their status during the date (that they're dating), which leaves the potential humiliation woefully unexecuted. I think you created a golden opportunity for yourself and didn't quite fully capitalize on it. Again -- this is just my opinion.

And I quite understand the angle you were attempting here: that Brad doesn't even care about Mom, and this is humiliating in a sense -- but I think the same effect is achieved if Brad openly dates Mom, but simply doesn't care not to cheat on her -- in fact (potentially) openly does so once Mom is fully conditioned. Thus, Brad would care to own Mom, but not care to be owned by her. As of now, the way you've written it gives off the impression that Brad doesn't even care to own Mom.

2) Mom's career part here doesn't add terribly much to the story. Maybe you have plans here that I don't know of, but after the Mom / Vanessa story-arcs, this one was (again -- personal opinion) a little flat. I do suppose it serves the purpose of Becky getting Thursday off, and will lead into a Career discussion with Brad later, but besides it's plot convenience, it doesn't seem to have inherent value on its own (to me -- personal opinion.)

-----

Besides that, you really nailed the two main arcs of the plot here:

1) Milksop asking his mom to date Brad was the hottest thing in this series so far.

2) Vanessa's arc teased, but because this arc is clearly going to a ball-clenching climax, this was artfully executed here.

-----

Hey, I know this is probably a long-shot -- but I would love to help you edit this series / provide (if you want it) some personal feedback before releases.

I want to be clear: I'm not interested in telling a story of my own, or imparting any scenes / situations onto the plot.

I just want to help you tell your story, and am totally willing for you to decide the precise scope and character of whatever aid I'm to provide.

If you're interested, please email me at Larknok1@gmail.com

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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by the machine on Tue Dec 27, 2016 5:09 am

there's little doubt you won't disappoint us in part 10. keep it going!
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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by Philo B. on Tue Jan 03, 2017 12:48 am

Great work with your latest chapter, which was well worth the wait.  I just left a review at Literotica.  I do like how you're building the tension, and I don't know how long a run you anticipate for this saga, but I'm happy to stick with it.  Having said that, in the next installment, if Becky could lay a bit of abuse on the milksop, perhaps in the form of overheard name-calling, that would be delicious. The milksop may be a pathetic loser, but he has nerves of steel to take all of this abuse and still soldier on as if everything were smooth as glass. I'd like to see some deeper cracks form in his emotional and mental armor.
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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by Bottom_all_the_way on Wed Jan 04, 2017 12:40 pm

I'm glad most people have been enjoying part 9! I'm sorry to hear it was a disappointment to others, but this is a niche story and you can never expect to please everyone. I will continue to write it how I believe the story is meant to be. I get that some people want more explicit details of the sex scenes, but I believe sometimes it's better to suggest a lot of details and also leave a few things vague and let the readers imagination fill in the rest.

Worry not, there will be plenty more sex in the coming parts, once the proper variables are all in place for the most devilish turn of events for milksop.

I've been slow with writing - the holidays have kept me quite busy and left me feeling a bit drained. I've written a few pages (huge thanks to some fans for helping me get things rolling) but I haven't come close to finishing the usual 20-25 page part to be submitted. I'll have time to work on it more this weekend, and I'll let you know when it's closer to being finished, but as is usual for me: it'll be finished when it's finished. Sad Not a very satisfying answer I know, but it's the best I can promise while keeping up with a demanding full-time career irl and taking classes.

Maybe I'll win the lottery or get a sugar partner or something who lets me stay home all day and write Razz , but until then I'll continue to write as best I can as often as I can Smile

Thanks for all the support and ideas! I'm glad this story is striking such a good cord with so many fellow fans of the genre!

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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by miketyson on Tue Jan 24, 2017 6:39 pm

How's part 10 coming along?

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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by Bottom_all_the_way on Mon Jan 30, 2017 10:41 am

Part is posted to Literotica!

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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by miketyson on Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:35 pm

Can you post it here to?

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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by miketyson on Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:55 pm

That way there isn't a 48 hour delay

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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by the machine on Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:58 pm

i so excited plz vote and Favorite for part 10 in literotica
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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by john01824 on Tue Jan 31, 2017 6:44 am

Bottom_all_the_way wrote:Part is posted to Literotica!

I thought it was going to be posted here first?

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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by Bottom_all_the_way on Tue Jan 31, 2017 9:14 am

I was hoping Literotica would update before I got back from work, but nope. They're slow. I'm going to post the first 2 chapters here as a teaser to enjoy while we wait for Literotica to update Smile


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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by Devetak on Wed Feb 01, 2017 9:49 pm

It was put up on Literotica last night. That was super hot. Love that the teacher's showing up, and while I didn't like Vanessa before I like how the girls take advantage of her and how naive she is.

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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by Bottom_all_the_way on Mon Feb 06, 2017 2:30 pm

Literotica removed the entire series because Part 1 mentioned the kids were freshmen in high school which would make them around ages 14-15, not 18 like the story clearly said they were. They removed the entire series. I've decided to take a much needed break from writing for now.

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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by Betrayal on Mon Feb 06, 2017 4:02 pm

Man that sucks to hear. Just another reason to hate Literotica. I'm sure you have all the chapters saved but I don't blame you for taking a break. I'm sure writing such a long multifaceted story takes it's toll on a person. Just know your hard work is much appreciated by all of us on here.
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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by the machine on Mon Feb 06, 2017 9:59 pm

yeah i like your work.post your story in asstr
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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by Philo B. on Tue Feb 07, 2017 12:36 am

I'm really sorry to hear that, more for your sake than ours.  I would imagine a great many hours went into writing "Brad the Bully..."  

For the record, I am American, but having lived overseas, I have come to realize what a wide Puritanical streak exists in US culture.  I mean you can't even hear "fuck" on terrestrial TV channels or basic cable.  Yet, these networks will show without hesitation unspeakable acts of violence.  It's ridiculous.

In the case of your story, the high school freshmen - whatever age one may perceive them to be - had absolutely no involvement in any sexual activity.  If I remember correctly, they didn't witness any such displays either.  I can understand responsible censorship in a genuine effort to protect children, but it should be applied with a scalpel and not a two-by-four.  

As the machine pointed out, there are other places where you can post your story, including asstr.  Other options include:

1) Lush Stories - https://www.lushstories.com/  They claim to have over 330,000 members.
2) Nifty - https://www.nifty.org/nifty/
3) Sex Stories - www.sexstories.com

You clearly have a talent for NTR writing, and our little community of 'outcasts' needs you.  I hope you'll consider posting your series, with future installments, at one or more of the above.  Enjoy your break.
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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by Revan on Tue Feb 07, 2017 10:25 am

I second Philo B. We need amazing writers like you keep our this movement going. Enjoy your break, but we hope you will be back with a bang!

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Re: Brad the Bully

Post by Devetak on Tue Feb 07, 2017 9:56 pm

Literotica's horrible for that kind of stuff. the forums are disgusting and it's all so two-faced about it.

I'm really sorry to hear about it, man, and hope the setback doesn't stop your talent forever.

There's so many writers whose work have been scoured off the internet by time and the judgmental. Whatever happens we'll keep it around.

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